i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
