My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Randomize
