i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
