Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
