Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
