Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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