The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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