He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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