is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it's like iHOP with fire
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
