I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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