is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
no you cant smoke seaweed
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I think I sprained my soul last night
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
