apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
