dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
