so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
