I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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