If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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