How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
