winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
