maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
