he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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