So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
