did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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