i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize