Its about making memories worth repressing
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
