Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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