Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
