the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Let's paint friendship bongs
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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