Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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