I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
