He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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