I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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