Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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