What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
