he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
