Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize