yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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