Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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