is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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