Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Farmville is her only friend.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
