a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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