can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
