Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
