I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
