Screwed.edu
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
