oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
