please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
