You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
