I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
