I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
