Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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