I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I had to cum in my sink.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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