the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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