I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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