I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
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