How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
