The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
