I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
